Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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