this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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