so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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