I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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