and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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