If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
