i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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