Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
