Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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