I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
