Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

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  (630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/iqfz
  Replies (56) Good night (6743) Bad night (1068)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.

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  (617): his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family. http://tfl.nu/jlgb
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (4130)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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  (417): you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up http://tfl.nu/tq8k
  Replies (14) Good night (3409) Bad night (1844)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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  (+44): Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones? http://tfl.nu/hoh3
  Replies (8) Good night (1815) Bad night (3988)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Damn you and your Monday night power hours.

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  (207): Damn you and your Monday night power hours. http://tfl.nu/3ta4
  Replies (2) Good night (1518) Bad night (823)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

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  (506): Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/9li0
  Replies (8) Good night (2879) Bad night (1564)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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  (713): just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal http://tfl.nu/dg00
  Replies (10) Good night (3627) Bad night (903)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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  (212): I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking. http://tfl.nu/4blg
  Replies (21) Good night (2148) Bad night (1097)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before

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  (856): Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/gngt
  Replies (5) Good night (795) Bad night (686)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?

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  (509): Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills? http://tfl.nu/9geb
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (575)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later

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  (708): If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later http://tfl.nu/o4md
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (940)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car

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  (201): I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car http://tfl.nu/h2al
  Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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  (413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (325)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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  (202): Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund. http://tfl.nu/7pae
  Replies (8) Good night (498) Bad night (1233)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog

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  (701): I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog http://tfl.nu/mfuj
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (215)

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