my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...