My room smells like vodka and shame
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.