I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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