New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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