Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
