So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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