Have you finally orgasmed yet?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
