he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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