Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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