What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
