Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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