this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
