Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He? As in you personified your dick?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
