I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
