The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize