508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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