Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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(810): View more from Michigan

The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?

(770): View more from Georgia

This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.

(678): View more from Georgia

Valid.

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