I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
