He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.