im six kinds of drunk right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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