sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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