problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
