"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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