There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.