I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
