My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize