Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
