you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
