Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
