Define "chronic" masturbator.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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