I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dick has a subreddit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
