please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me