I cockslap morals
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home