Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa
  Replies (10) Good night (865) Bad night (5687)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head. http://tfl.nu/re8d
  Replies (24) Good night (1192) Bad night (4087)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh
  Replies (15) Good night (1007) Bad night (5937)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
  Replies (15) Good night (991) Bad night (3509)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent. http://tfl.nu/bb3p
  Replies (7) Good night (1081) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years http://tfl.nu/qjp6
  Replies (12) Good night (2975) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight. http://tfl.nu/e9s1
  Replies (6) Good night (1228) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1556) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit. http://tfl.nu/0tmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit. http://tfl.nu/g1ie
  Replies (0) Good night (962) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight. http://tfl.nu/58zb
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (352) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas! http://tfl.nu/iawo
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (265)

Randomize