ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

  Fav 24 1792 6396

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

  Fav 55 8640 1420

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.

  Fav 15 1306 6855

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

  Fav 39 8962 1793

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

  Fav 34 3545 10347

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

  Fav 6 2815 1295

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

  Fav 2 2139 784

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

  Fav 3 1971 1256

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key

  Fav 15 2212 900

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

  Fav 13 2176 1017

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with

  Fav 11 901 2045

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips

  Fav 2 919 568

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

  Fav 4 748 532

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?

  Fav 1 634 466

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Omg the world wants us to be better people

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I refuse

  Fav 0 582 269

  share tweet
  

Randomize