shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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