Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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(269): I'm on that like soy sauce on rice http://tfl.nu/53vn

Replies (3) Good night (1489) Bad night (700)
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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

Replies (43) Good night (768) Bad night (5464)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la

Replies (25) Good night (6927) Bad night (1450)
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(650): View more from California

Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.

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(650): Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/nfhv

Replies (30) Good night (1727) Bad night (4244)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..

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(978): Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969.. http://tfl.nu/r5nl

Replies (18) Good night (1751) Bad night (4317)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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(610): At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wzxh

Replies (12) Good night (1239) Bad night (5386)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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(732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr

Replies (3) Good night (1832) Bad night (1140)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.

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(515): I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises. http://tfl.nu/86bb

Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (1675)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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(701): He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin. http://tfl.nu/a8q9

Replies (4) Good night (2143) Bad night (692)
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(512): View more from Texas

Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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(512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6

Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (511)
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(850): View more from Florida

Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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(850): Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids. http://tfl.nu/dauy

Replies (5) Good night (1400) Bad night (837)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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(501): I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it. http://tfl.nu/ipd9

Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (1003)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.

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(732): The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack. http://tfl.nu/qgyn

Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (325)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

(509): View more from Washington

you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

(971): View more from Oregon

goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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(971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp

Replies (4) Good night (1558) Bad night (466)
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(206): View more from Washington

Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?

(360): View more from Washington

What are you gonna do about it?

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(206): Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king? (360): What are you gonna do about it? http://tfl.nu/zg4q

Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (398)

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