Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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