whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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