Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
