Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
