and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
