just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
