Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
