Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
