I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
