At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
