: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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