I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
