My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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