She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We have started to decorate penises.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
