I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
