Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
