At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
